Emotions…We can’t go over them. We can’t go under them. Oh no! We’ve got to go through them
Ever heard of the children’s story “we’re going on a bear hunt?” Well I think someone should re-write this book for both children and adults but make it about emotions because this is exactly how to process them: “uh-oh! Anger. Deep dark anger. We can’t go over it! We can’t go under it! Oh no! We’ve got to go through it!” Emotions are exactly like that. In order to figure out how to heal emotionally, you have to move through them. If you don’t then you will just end up feeling more lost as suppressing any emotion that makes us feel bad will cause it to grow.
Say for example, you need a filling and you avoid going to the dentist because you are afraid of the pain that will be involved in fixing it. What will happen? The hole will get larger, it will become more painful and it may turn into an abscess. The same thing happens if you cut your leg and need stitches but don’t go the hospital; the wound is likely to get infected, you will develop gangrene and the suffering will continue to get worse. Sooner or later you are going to have to deal with that pain. Otherwise, you will lose your leg! Or your tooth! It is exactly the same with emotional wounds.
Be brave and commit to healing your emotional wounds
The emotional wounds that we encounter in childhood, if not properly healed, will continue to crop up in our lives in one form or another. The universe, which works on the basis of the law of attraction, will continue to match us up with situations that will trigger our trauma in order to remind us that the wounds are still there and require healing.
If we continue to ignore these situations by placing the blame on others and deflecting the attention away from ourselves and our healing then eventually we will become so crippled under the weight of our emotional wounds that we will be at a standstill and unable to move forward.
In this type of healing crisis there is no other choice but to face our own pain and allow the light of love to heal our wounds, as avoidance of our emotions has made it physically impossible to ignore the cries of our heart any longer. We must commit to love like our life depends on it. Our life does depend on it!
Emotional pain must be acknowledged by yourself and others in order to be healed
So now that we have committed to loving ourselves one hundred percent, how do we begin to heal these wounds? How to heal emotionally? Well the first step begins with giving them our attention and presence. We must allow the emotional pain to be felt, seen, heard and acknowledged first and foremost by ourselves secondly by others that we trust. By acknowledging our pain and the pain of others we will begin our healing journey.
How you feel is how you feel. It might be right. It might be wrong. It might be rainbow colored with pink stripes and polka dots! Who really cares what it looks like? It is your truth! It looks like you! You may be red in the face with smoke coming out of your ears, green with envy or tear streaked and mucus stained but regardless of what you look like, the moment that you stand within your own authenticity regardless of the cost there will be no one else on earth who is that beautiful. I guarantee it.
Acknowledge it. Own it. If you are sad be sad. If you are angry be angry. You are privileged to have feelings even if they are negative. That is okay. It means that you are a human being. It means that you are alive. You have the right to feel whatever you want to feel. You do not have to apologize for how you feel. Ever. We are responsible for our actions of course but these are different from our feelings. Our feelings are an indication of what we need to pay attention to. What we need to show love and compassion towards in ourselves or others.
Love your anger. Love your sadness. Love your rage. Love your jealousy. Love your hatred. Love the negative as well as the positive and validate these aspects of yourself. Why? Because if you do not learn to love the darkness in yourself then how will you ever know how to love the darkness in anyone else? What is more, you are the one who has walked your path and you are the one who knows your own heart and soul the most. Therefore, if you, who know your own heart and soul better than anyone else alive cannot love the darkness that is inside of you then how can you expect anyone else to even begin to try?
Be Wary of Pseudo spirituality “Oh what a beautiful day! We’re not scared!”
Except, maybe you are scared…and that is totally okay. The road to freedom and happiness is not always going to be a teddy bears picnic. Personally speaking I have always been wary of spiritual practices that teach this. I mean don’t get me wrong I also love practicing positive focus and affirmations and I will often incorporate these into my daily spiritual practice. These types of exercises can be great tools but not if you are using them to bypass your emotions or to avoid healing trauma and hurt. Your feelings are your emotional compass and you can’t just “get over” them by being grateful. For example, you wouldn’t tell someone whose child had just died “Do you know what might cheer you up? Some positive thinking! I’ve got a great book I could loan you on the law of attraction!” Maybe that may sound like an extreme example, but I use it to illustrate my point. Every hurt feeling deserves to be acknowledged no matter how small and there is a grieving process to this. In truth, it is only by feeling the sadness as well as the joy that we can truly be free.
You can’t fake happiness. You can’t fake forgiveness. Burying or bypassing your pain only makes it stronger. Your true Feelings will catch up with you sooner or later. It is more spiritual to allow yourself to be angry with someone than to fake forgiveness or positive feelings. It is certainly more authentic. What is more, by releasing your anger or pain instead of suppressing it like a pressure cooker about to explode then you will learn more about yourself. Even if your actions are not perfect, by doing so you will be more aware of your shadows and as a result you can shine the light of love on them. There will always be people in your life that will love you for who you are “warts and all”. The more authentic you are then the more you will be in alignment with your higher self and the more you will attract other people who are also authentic and willing to show you compassion, as authenticity comes hand in hand with self-love. If you have any questions about emotional spiritual healing or how to heal emotionally then leave your comments below or contact me by email and I will be happy to help
Sending you so much love,